Have you ever heard the wild scream of the banshee, up close and personal? The ear piercing pitch that can be heard for miles? The shrill screech that can drown out ambulances and firetrucks?
I have. And it came out as a four-letter word more horrible and disgusting then Rachel at Following in My Shoes could ever dare imagine.
It sounded something like this:
"MINE! MIIIIINE!! MMMMiiiiiIIIIIIIIINNNNE!!!!!!"
It started innocently enough, out in the backyard of
Grandma's house, blowing bubbles. "bUbbas," is how
my once-innocent darling pronounces it. Back when she was cute.
But she wasn't getting any bubbles out. And she was rapidly becoming frustrated. Granpop stepped in to help, taking the bubble wand from her tiny hands and waving it through the air, large, happy bubbles emerging from it.
That's when it happened. The day the world changed forever. Dark, ominous clouds blotted out the sun and lightning flashed in the distance. The wind howled, pelting us with leaves and small chipmunks. Miss Priss was lifted off the ground by some demonic force, eyes blazing, hair standing on end as if electrocuted, and from the depths of hell, through her small vocal chords, past her sweet bow of a mouth came a screech, a wail, the cry of the banshee....
"MMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNE!!!!!!!!"
We dropped to the ground and covered our ears, unsure of where such a fearsome sound had come from. How could my angel, my Shirley Temple look-alike, produce such a horrific noise?
And then she did it again.
Our new household phrase is "you have to SHARE." She has no idea what this means. Everything is now "hers."
"My bebe (that's what she named her paci)."
"My bear."
"My water."
"My book." "That's mommy's book." "MiiiIIIIIIIIINE!!"
And with the birth of the Banshee, goes extinct the Generous Mom. The Mom that wanted to get her little angel anything and everything that she thought would make her happy. Generous Mom can only produce Spoiled Brat Banshees. From the ashes of Generous Mom, rises a new, more strict version of mom, the Stingy Mom. The mom that's so mean, she won't get her Brat Banshee anything. And is rumored to secretly enjoy it.
Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.