One of the hardest parts of having a baby (other than those delightful hours upon hours spent in labor) is actually finding a decent name for the poor lil' thing.
With Miss Priss, it was easy.
(Her name is not REALLY Miss Priss, by the way, but I always assumed that you, my dear readers, were smart enough to figure that out.)
I was a scant ten weeks pregnant with her, driving home from an appointment, when this voice popped into my head and said, "I'm a girl, and my name is Miss Priss!"
OK, now you think I'm weird. Er, I mean, weirder. In my defense, the little voice was right, and she really was a girl. And we LOVE her name. I swear, I don't hear voices often, and I generally don't listen to them when I do! Now put the straight jacket down, and back away slowly…
Anywho, this time around, no voices. Nothin'. I would switch monthly on whether I felt like it was a boy or a girl, even. And Priss was convinced it was a boy. Now, of course, we are delighted to know that Priss is having a sister (OK, maybe not ALL of us. Priss is still convinced her "sister" is a boy.) and the daunting task continues on just what to name this new wiggle worm.
With Priss, we didn't tell anybody what name we had chosen (or, more accurately, the voice in my head had chosen, but whatever). Hubs exclaimed that he didn't want any input, especially negative, on whatever names we came up with. "Just let them find out once we've already named it (he didn't believe my voices and thought there was still a 50/50 chance. Ha!) and then they'll just have to deal with it whether they like it or not."
I thought it seemed silly. We're pretty conservative folks, so we weren't trying to name her Apricot or anything like that. But I agreed, and that is what we did.
Little did I know just how right he was! This time around, he thought it wasn't as big of a deal anymore, so I went ahead and told anyone who asked what names we were thinking about. Once again, our selections are traditional and classic, nothing too far out of the box. And everyone was pretty good at keeping their opinions to themselves. Every once in a while there'd be a snarky comment, but I'd always let it slide. After all, it's my kid, right? I can name her Razzle Dazzle if that's what I wanted.
Then I talked to my dad yesterday, and all that changed.
Dad: So what are you thinking of naming her?
Me: We're still thinking this name, but there's still a couple months to go, so you never know what my little brain will think up!
Dad: Well, what're you calling her for short?
Me: I like [a nickname that is derived from this other name, but not commonly used in the U.S.]
Dad: Give me a break! Nobody's going to get that. Nobody's going to call her that. Just call her [the more traditional nickname]. Because that's what everybody's going to call her anyway.
Me: Well, um, OK. I figured people would call her whatever we told them her name was…
Dad: Get real! We're not in [that other country], who would put that together? Don't be ridiculous.
Me: Alright. Well, there's lots of other nicknames that can come out of the longer one. Like,….
Dad: Yeah, sure. Well, do what you want. I'm just letting you know how it is.
So I get off the phone all depressed and deflated and only thought of a good retort well AFTER I had hung up, which just made me more depressed.
Because what I should have said was, "Thanks for the input BUD!"
Bud would be my dad's nickname. Know what it's short for??? Anybody???
Howard.
Hmmm, what do you know? A nickname that's not commonly derived from the formal name. How PECULIAR. How BIZARRE.
But, last I heard, nobody's insisted on calling him Howie or Ward lately.
Of course, I'm sure it's just because his friends are smarter than my friends are.
So, to make a long story short, Hubs got home from work and I pathetically told him what dad had said (admittedly, I was slightly more hormonal yesterday, but he was still being a mean, crotchety old man!) and Hubs said from here on out, we ain't tellin' nobody nuthin'.
Go ahead. Ask me what we think we're naming this newest bundle of joy. All you'll get from me is Miss Priss' standard answer.
Monkey Face.
