I really think it's a requirement for mom-hood. I don't know if it was a shot they gave me, or a contract I signed while still doped up, holding a teeny tiny Miss Priss in my arms.
Or maybe it's just my psycho Virgo-ness.
I mean, of course, the primal need, urge, desire to dress up our tykes and subject them to blinding flash photography, with a barrage of threats if they don't stop wiggling and promises of sweet treats if they'd just smile AND look at the camera, all the while insisting on that PERFECT shot.
My mom did it to Sissy and me.
And, judging by the photos I've seen of my very tiny, and very adorable, mom and Uncle John performing the Mexican Hat Dance (complete with smiles plastered to their faces), I can rest assured my grandma did it to them (and, apparently, had threat level I can only dream of).
I believe the Family Photo is the whole reason the first caveman drew on a wall.
Cave Husband: Well, I'm doing the best I can here. I've only got a rock to work with.
Cave Wife: Kids, sit STILL! Your father's almost done! I swear, if you don't sit still, I'll throw you to the next saber toothed tiger I see!!!
Cave Kids: But Mooooooom...
Cave Wife: Don't tempt me! You know, you USED to have a brother!
Cave Husband: There! How does that look?
Cave Wife: Ugh! I look so FAT. Can't you do it from a different angle?
Cave Husband: (mumbling) How exactly does she expect me to thin out a frickin' STICK FIGURE?!? Make the LINE smaller??
Cave Wife: Hmm, what's that?
Cave Husband: Nothing, dear.
So I'm sure it comes as no surprise to all of you, my dearest readers, that this Momma, looking every bit her seven months pregnancy, was in desperate need of having portraits done. Just Momma, Preggo Belly, and Miss Priss.
I know, I know, I can hear you already. "Miss Priss is only TWO! Good luck with THAT!"
Well, believe me, I am very aware of this. And I have flat out refused to do studio portraits with that child. It's always the same - the threats, the torture, the need for a very large margarita - and all we end up with is one half-way decent shot where she's not even smiling that you get the pleasure of paying two-months-worth of salary for (because family portraits are akin to engagement rings) and I can't even post on my blog for "copyright" reasons.
So until Priss understands the value of a dollar and I can PAY for her cooperation, we are not stepping foot in a studio.
We've got our own MacDaddy Nikon Camera, I thought, Hubs is just the best photographer EVER (let's all make him feel good today, OK?), and, (here's where the derangement sets in) I'll get Priss dressed up at Yosemite and we'll be in NATURE! Great, right?
Me and my idiotic ideas.
Anyway, we got a few shots at least, and managed to NOT get eaten by mosquitoes, snakes, mice, or any other vermin hanging out in a meadow. Plus I bought this gorgeous frame with stained glass butterflies specifically to hold this amazing wondershot.
Now I need you, my most discriminating of readers, to tell me - which of these shots should go in the frame???
(OK, I recognize how much funnier this post would be if I showed a bunch of the outtakes [all 120 of them], but seriously, folks, I need some help here!)
1 or 2 or...
3 or 4 or...
5 or 6...
Please leave your vote in the comments below.
And tell me again, how much longer till I get my margaritas back???
