Miss Priss had her very first day of school last week.
You could say she was a little excited about it.
So excited that she looked down at me from the top of the stairs that morning, still clad in her PJ's after having just awoke, and said to me, "Can I get dressed for school now?"
Excited enough that, once she was fully clothed in her RockStar Back-To-School Attire (yes, SHE picked that out), and had thumped her way down the stairs, she promptly laced herself into her almost-the-same-size-as-her My Little Pony backpack and declared she was "ready to go!"
Which was when Mommy had to be the buzz-kill and inform her that it was still an hour before her teacher would even be at the school, so she might as well take the backpack off, sit herself down, and feast on a little breakfast first.
Later, my sweet little rockstar princess took her first steps into her new preschool. A school she will be attending on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
A place where she will learn more than just numbers and colors and letters.
She'll learn how to play with other kids.
She'll learn how to be funny.
And how to be vulnerable.
She'll learn how to be a friend.
And how to be mean to another kid.
She'll learn the real world consequences to her actions.
And she'll learn all of those things with zero assistance/intervention/guidance from her Mommy.
This is her first step away from me.
Away from our home.
From our family.
My dear baby will have moments and friends and experiences and secrets that I won't be privy to, or part of, or even really know about.
Four hours a day.
Three days a week.
She will begin to decide on the person she wants to become.
I escorted her to her classroom - stretching the last bits of time - trying to make myself useful.
As soon as she saw the toys, she took off like a shot.
I spoke with the teacher for a couple of minutes, then called her back over to say goodbye.
She flashed me a look that said, "Oh. YOU'RE still here?" Then dutifully came over, paused long enough for me to slap a kiss on her forehead, another slight pause for a picture, and then... gone.
I drove home in the stark quiet of my hollowed-out car, realizing that I was only now noticing the fallen autumn leaves twirling up from the street in the vortex that remained from each passing vehicle.
Realizing that Summer had changed into Fall when I was too busy to pay attention.
Realizing that, in the future I will lament to all of you how much I wish summer were over and how desperate I am to have the kids back in school, to reclaim my sanity.
And you should know that I'm a liar.
Because the truth is, I already miss her.
